It seems to me that the new year season is an excellent time to look back on the past year...to reflect on its achievements, on its disappointments, and on how God has been shaping me into the likeness of His son. There have been all of these in the past 12 months. This list will have all of the above interspersed within.
1. The number one positive thing about this past year has been dating Jessalyn. In a sense she has helped me learn to trust the female gender again. She has also helped me identify different areas of selfishness in myself. We have had a great deal of fun along the way, some days there have been tears, some days we've been disappointed in each other, some days lots of laughter, and there's been plenty of learning all along the way. It's also been a new experience for our families as they were not able to have us at home during all of the breaks, or all the times they had hoped to.
2. Winning both the Male Athlete of the Year and Male Soccer Player of the Year awards at school. To receive both of these came as a complete surprise to me. I knew that I had a great season, but so had other guys. I guess really this capped off a soccer season that saw us dominate the third division, get wrecked in second division, go to provincials, and lose the third division title in a heartbreaking game. Personally, I scored 4 league goals as well as the prettiest goal I have ever scored, in a friendly against the hockey team. That's my career high in a season. I also played two straight games all the way through thanks to a shortage of defencemen on the team. This was a season of continued growth from my first year coming in having never really played soccer before. In this season that I am in the midst of, I am serving as captain alongside my good friend Mike. I likely hold the position of #1 defenceman and have officially scored two goals this season (although have only actually put one ball in the net :P). It has been a year of learning as I've been trying to work on my left-footed shot and passing into space.
3. Going to Edra for two weeks of firefighting. This summer I worked as a wildland firefighter for the Government of Alberta. I started right after school was over by going to Hinton for a two-week boot camp. We'd start every morning with fitness at 6 am which was a variety of things. Sometimes we had a gear carry in full firefighting dress, other times we did circuit training (including the beep test), and one time we had a 10 km "fun run". I'm still not sure why an early morning trek of that length was called "fun". After that was 7-8 hours of class or field training. We worked with chainsaws for three full days, but my favourite classes were the fire theory. Even in structural firefighting that has always been the subject I have enjoyed the most. I love studying fire behaviour and how it works. After two weeks of this I went to Valleyview for the summer. My crew fought 4 fires there all year, and those were over by the end of May. So we spent a lot of time with chainsaw training, watching tv, and flying patrols in the helicopter. Our crew, after a long and frustrating summer, were chosen for export to the Birch River Complex near Fort McMurray. We were flown out to the Edra fire base to set up camp along with about eighty other firefighters. It felt like a cross between Camp Harmattan and rural Ghana, but really looked like a refugee camp of some sort. It was a rag-tag affair with lots of people just sitting around fires and dust blowing around everywhere. On our first flight to the fire we could see nothing but smoke and a desolated landscape. This fire was over 27,000 hectares in size (270 square km or over 66,000 acres). We quickly gained the trust and respect of our superior officers with our hard work, attention to detail, and boundless enthusiasm. As a result, our crew was put into all of the challenging hotspots along the perimeter of the fire. For half of one day we had access to a pump and hose (which is really nice for firefighting), but the other 10 days of firefighting we had hand tools (pulaskis and shovels), chainsaws, wajax packs (water backpacks), and helicopter bucket drops. We worked 12 hour days, waking up at six just like at Hinton, since work began at seven. Even after all the other crews were placed on demobilization duties (pulling pumps, gas, and hose out of the helispots where we had left them), we still got active fire duty. When there was rain or fog, Edra was miserable. However, it was so dry that not even rain would have really helped the fire behaviour. In fact, that fire is likely still listed as Under Control as opposed to Extinguished despite a meter of snow over the entire thing. Maybe next summer, or the summer after, someone will be brave enough to call it extinguished. When HAC 4 (my crew) arrived at the fire, there was one tiny section that was under control. By the time we left, largely thanks to HAC 4's work, the entire fire was listed as Under Control. That finished my summer off with a bang.
4. Finishing the Race to 2025 in second place. We were less than 3 minutes behind the team that won, across a 2 day race. We were unbelievably close and it was heartbreaking to be told that we had come out the tiniest bit worse :(
5. Pastoral team at Bonanza. I don't really know what to say about this one other than that it gave me a taste of what pastoral ministry is like, including some of the behind the scenes stuff. I received some confirmation of my gifting from the different members of my team, and we had such a good experience being minsters of the Word in this tiny country church.
6. My ministry this summer was interesting to say the least. It was an exceptionally difficult summer spiritually as work was a very dark and perverse place. Unfortunately, I was also stuck there in the sense that I had nowhere to go to escape from the spiritually oppressive atmosphere. I could go into my room, but there I would be alone which isn't much better. I did have the occasional reprieve though, when I visited the Morrison family in Valleyview or when Mitch was around (since he was at the same base as me). However, my crew and all those at camp knew I was a Christian and did see an obvious difference in the way I lived life. I didn't swear, I didn't drink (although I went to the bar with them), I wouldn't watch the sex scenes in movies, I didn't smoke, and I wouldn't go to the stripper's. However, in an apologetic conversation (apologetics as in proofs of the Christian faith) with my camp chef I wasn't able to articulate any arguments particularly well. At the same time though, he barely let me get a word in edgewise so I'm not too torn up about it. I need to learn to be more assertive though in those conversations...to not let the other person walk over me.
This leads into one of the big discoveries of myself that I had this year. I have begun to see how my fear of man has pervaded my life. All sorts of things that I do are flavoured by that. Things like hiding from people or not being willing to step out in relationship with others. However, it's not just as easy as being more vivacious, since my own wiring is to be a little more introverted. So I'm trying to figure out where my personality ends and where relational sin begins. There are so many ways though that I can see this fear of man in my life.
Now I'm going to note some different media that have been especially important to my life this year.
1. Les Miserables. The book, the soundtrack to the movie, even the movie itself (even though I haven't seen it yet) have all had significant impact on my life this summer. I read through the book and have been eagerly anticipating the film. The soundtrack is also a fantastic piece of work. It is a poignant story of the power of grace in an ex-convict's life.
2. The Hobbit. The book and the movie. Jessalyn and I read through The Hobbit out loud to each other throughout the past semester, and then the movie came out just before Christmas break. A great prequel to The Lord of the Rings.
3. The Dark Knight Rises. The parallels between the story of Bruce Wayne and Christ have provoked a lot of thought in my own mind. Even without the spiritual allusions, it is still an incredible story, as is The Dark Knight, which I watched last night.
4. Self-Titled - Anthem Lights. This album has probably had the greatest impact on me in the last year. The Mid-Summer Station by Owl City was also excellent album. However, Anthem Lights seemed to be singing songs that resonated with me a lot. Kinda like Britt Nicole a couple years back. It's really cool when I can find musicians that are in a similar place as me in their questions about God and struggles in their relationship with them.
5. Inside Out by Larry Crabb and Changes That Heal by Cloud & Townsend. These were both very hard books to read, but have greatly shaped my spiritual formation in this last year. It's been a lot of emotional maturing here too.
This year has been quite the ride. I don't know what this next year will hold for sure, but having started dating Jess, and since I am finishing up at PRBI this spring, then I know that it will be full of change.
As a postscript, I haven't really been faithful about updating here, and I've had some complainers. So, I will try to be much better about that in this coming year. One of my resolutions, I suppose.
Blessings on your new year.
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